नेपाली सन्देश डट कम | २४ माघ २०८१, बिहीबार १३:१६ 
Pratiksha Pandit
Marriage is a universal practice, people of different countries, regions and communities, religions observe it in different ways. Generations after generation’s ancestors of eastern part of globe, i.e. Indian subcontinent have experimented and practiced a sustained, growth oriented, practical, opposite sex, lifelong partnership called Vivaha/ Scared Marriage, which has helped people of this land in understanding and managing human life and it’s intricacies, cultivating a sense of strong community, family and individual values.
Our ancient scientist- the Seers and Rishis of this land, have practiced and lived a scientific approach of Bramahacharya( Student Life ) to Grihastha (Married Life) to Vanaprastha (Partial renunciation) to Sanyasa ( Complete renunciation) stage of human life. Following the teachings, the Hindu social system has institutionalized the Grihastha stage of life as Vivaha / Marriage System.
Entering in Vivaha / Marriage is placed as top priority life event. Interestingly in Nepal and India and match making is auspicious act and everyone is encouraged to marry once in a life time.
Marriages are observed with grand rituals and fire ceremony praying gods, goddess for auspiciousness. This event occurs for couple of days where through various rituals bride and groom are taught the principles of marital life and vows that they follow to make Marriage/ Vivaha successful. Family members, friends of both party, elders of society unite and witness the special ceremony, as on this day the couple commits to embark their life long journey together.
In one of the important ritual called Saptapadhi or Seven Steps around the holy fire, the couple agrees to follow and tie themselves in seven vows, essentially to grow, love, support, nurture, and enrich each other, provide strength and courage throughout happiness and hardships, to protect the family and their children, to grow wealthy and prosperous together, to maintain harmony, trust and commitment towards each other.
The institution of marriage in broader sense, serves a significant purpose of reproducing and continuing of human race and family linage by bringing offspring to life. In one sense, Marriage is a way of honoring our parents and ancestors as they have provided us with their love, care and passed their knowledge and experience stream which are extremely valuable assets for every human’s life. So, we pay our homage and debt to them by becoming a parent to our successors. We are supposed to strive to add value to our family knowledge line, from the learning, experiences and understanding of our life, and pass it to next generation in order to make our upcoming generation more powerful, smart and capable than we are.
From value perspective, our marriage system runs deeper extending in various layers and dimensions.
Akin to marriage system of west, the goal of marriages in our society is also about collecting wealth, seeking material and physical pleasure, but staying committed during challenging times is core in our values. Here, marriages are very strong bond for lifetime, for slightest of dissatisfaction, lack of material comfort, cultural shocks and adjustment issues are handled maturely and marriages don’t end easily very often.
One may ask, the deep sexual instinct inside male and female has initiated the act of reproducing, but what is the rationale for male and female to Instutionalise a life together? To understand this, we can connect with allegory of Bhirupakshe, and his mother.
Birupakshe, saddened by his missing father and to know his father and his linage, he took on a quest to seek him, after failing on his endeavors, and he decided to take rest on a cave, where he met a lady with whom he had sexual intercourse. But to their deepest shock, later he discovered the lady to be his mother. Popular folklore says, after this unfortunate event, Kali Yuga has started upon the world.
We are on Kali Yug and credit goes to our practical social and Vivaha System, such events aren’t part of Neplease mainstream society yet. Although, seedlings of such incident may sprout. We can witness countries where marriage systems have drastically failed, divorces are normal and ties between family members and newborn is disintegrated and family linages aren’t traceable anymore. This state of society, personally for me is saddening.
On the other hand, willingness and need of a man and women both to grow together, and extent the family life together has made the institution of marriage possible. Unlike growing radical thought coming out of nowhere, as some female states they do not need any men in any regards, our culture and system has been directed differently. We believe a male deeply craves for female love, care and compassion and seek them as a permanent companion for life and female primarily needs man to find security for their children for what can be more satisfying for a female than seeing her child on safe and good hands.
Both qualities and values of male and female are respected in our marriage system and both bride and groom grow together. We embrace respectful deployment of gender roles not abolishment of it and we follow by a partnership approach where bride and groom unite embraces the challenges of adulthood and excel in their gender roles.
Female adds new horizon to her identity as she transforms and adjust herself into new environment and set of people. She plays a greater role in combining in two family together and strengthen social and family values. Brides multiplies her beauty by adorning and wearing ornaments herself and transforms herself aesthetically. Through marriage, she embraces motherhood as she transforms herself from a daughter of a family to a wife and mother and relative of other family members. She becomes the hope of new generation by giving birth to children and grow into caring, nurturing and loving mother. She looks after the inner needs of the family.
Males become a integral part of coining two and more families together, learns the values of taking up the responsibility of both families, sharing and caring each other and grows into manhood by taking the responsibility of family care and professional care, by bearing physical and mental responsibility. He becomes capable member of society to provide securities, growth and overall development of family.
The trend of youths immigrating to foreign countries for work and permanent settlement is growing highest than ever. Our culture and social system are our core and true identity, we are the responsible beholder of it and we must commit to pass it to our upcoming generation. Let’s follow by our duty towards our ancestors and honor their contributions. We must be proud to our culture, traditional and human values wherein marriage system plays a significant role, let’s respect all what we have.
प्रतिक्रिया